This post on Sadly, No! describes Tom Delay's recent criticism of Newt Gingritch to Bob Novak. Allow me to reprint the following quote from the post because it is a thing of beauty: "If you ask me, that whole shack full of ship-jacking sack-flappers ought to shag the frat hat, instead of flak-trapping like a bunch of jag-nap chap-braggers. And I mean ‘in bed,’ as it were." And here's what the commenters had to say:
How sad that to see national leaders disobey President Reagan’s Eleventh Commandment: “Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow conservative.”
Damn! Tom DeLay earnestly discussing the importance of maintaining “a high moral tone.” That shorted out my bizarro-meter.
Damn, HTMLM, you’ve hit the horrible scumbag trifecta.
It’s like Moloch quoting Beelzebub calling Satan a douche.
Correction, HTML: Novak is not a “horrible scumbag,” but rather America’s douche bag of liberty.
Ah, Newt arrives, saviour of us liberals, to put the appropriately wacked-out face upon We-Hates-Liberalsism (or whatever fascism calls itself these days). We liberals created this powerful symbol, out of the illegitimate son of a teenage welfare mother; in the pre-1960s South, he would have barely qualified as a pleasure-boy to a gay version of Jesse Helms. We made him, we own him, and he will do our bidding: he will make right-wing extremism look even worse with his overstuffed face, bellowing bulgingly about the need for discipline as the basis of morality. Welcom back, Newt, and let us all bask in your faux (as in Faux News) intellectualism. The Big Clenis whupped you six ways to Sunday, back in the day, and now his long-suffering wife deserves the chance. Lead with your chin, man, it’s the only part of your head with substance!
Um, “takes one to know one”? I think you have to at least give some credit to the GOP for being willing to get their hands dirty researching moral decay so’s they can spot it when it turns up in our politics. That’s dedication!
I passionately want Newt GroinItch to win the Republican primary. When past quotes are quoted, the presidential election will take a humorously hysterical turn. Remember, these quotes are from twelve years ago. There’s no reason to think that GroinItch won’t top them before the election!
http://www.rusbasan.com/Humor/Newt.html
“If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they don’t have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they’re relatively rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn’t matter, you know. These things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets, a female may be again dramatically better than a male who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes.”
– Adjunct Professor Newt Gingrich, Reinhardt College, January 7, 1995, “Renewing American Civilization.”
So I was thinking, as bad as Brownback is, as overrated as Giuliani is, as inconsistent as McCain is, none of them could be as bad as George W. Bush. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Amd then … Newt Gingrich returned. Like a monster from a Universal horror film, without the charm.
Newt Gingrich is a perfect example of the motormouth syndrome: diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the brain. The guy is glib, which is why Faux News likes him, but he cannot be taken seriously.
What one so loves about Newt is his intellectual vanity. He’s like a character out of Kingsley Amis. He regularly reminds people, “I’m a teacher,” or “I’m a professor.”
PLEASE let him run. At least in the primaries. Show me a man who doesn’t relish the thought of Newt in a spirited debate with, e.g., Brownback and McCain and Mitt, and I’ll show you a man who…well, who’s wrong.
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